Stop being a Superhero – you can’t save them all (and neither should you)

One of the main issues I see during my work with women is the difficulty of watching things play out, without interfering or jumping in to “rescue”. 

What’s the problem with saving others? Generally, not much. If this is a common behaviour pattern however, leading the person to regularly ignore their own limits it can be draining. This de-prioritization of one’s own needs sends the message to oneself that one’s own needs are less important than the needs of others. Therefore it is advisable to regularly check in with one’s own needs and make space for them. 

If that feels overwhelming, start small. Notice regularly if you feel thirsty, or hungry, give yourself an extra minute in the bathroom or see how you can chew your lunch just a bit more slowly. Creating this awareness can slowly make it easier to also allow your bigger needs that are potentially in conflict with the needs and wants of others. 

Reminder: This may take time. You are changing behaviour patterns that might have developed decades ago. Of course it will take some time for the new pattern to feel easy. Additionally, progress is barely linear. Just because things feel more or especially difficult again at times, doesn’t mean you are not progressing. 

You can work on these topics by yourself, but don’t worry about asking for additional help. You wouldn’t think twice to ask for at least some medical input with a broken leg, so why would it be different with a dysfunctional behaviour pattern? Get in touch with me, if you think that you’d like me to help you see faster progress. I offer a free get-to-know call during which you can decide whether I am the right person to help you.

ABOUT THIS BLOG FORMAT: Short and Potent

With this format I want to specifically address, talk about and support women. The posts are shorter and meant to be thought-inspiring, rather than a complete representation of a topic. I know that long-winded texts can feel overwhelming. So to make talking about feminist topics more accessible, I want to offer you more bite-sized posts that feel less overwhelming.