How to improve your body image

We live in a world where we are nearly constantly exposed to images of bodies that are in many cases unachievable (even for the portrayed individuals!). Most of us spend time daily on social media where this is even more the case. This is also due to the fact that it makes it easier for companies to sell us products to “improve” ourselves when we are dissatisfied with our bodies to begin with. Additionally, we often learn to judge our bodies harshly from our parents while we grow up, who themselves were exposed to similar messaging. The main message being: “You are responsible for how your body looks. If it differs from the “ideal” it is your lack of strength and motivation that is to blame for it.”

All of these factors make it pretty-near impossible for most people to grow up with a positive and judgmental free body image. 

So, what can you do about it?

Becoming aware of your thoughts

One of the ways in which we uphold negative ideas about ourselves is by taking all the thoughts we have unchallenged. Not all of your thoughts are true. Thoughts are heavily influenced by our emotions. If thoughts were true, then thoughts such as “I am ugly” would feel true to the same extent at any point in time. That’s just not how it feels. 

The first step to be able to question your thoughts around your body (or food btw.) is to become aware of them. Try to notice when you are having thoughts about your body. What are these thoughts like?

Try this:

For a while, try to take notice of your thoughts around your body. No need to change them yet. Take them down on paper, or in your notes app on your phone. Write down the thought itself. Make a note of how you are feeling (it can be in the form of an emoji, if that’s easier) and also of what type of situation you are in at the time.

After a while look over your notes. Do you notice anything? Are there places and times where you notice more negative thoughts than in others? How do you generally feel at the time when you have negative thoughts about your body? Noticing these patterns will further help you to not take every negative thought about your body as fact, because it shows you that other factors influence your thoughts.

Foster body-neutrality

You’ve probably heard of body positivity. But being positive instead of allowing yourself to judge your body, might not always be possible for you. It could actually make you feel worse, when you feel like you should be able to feel positive about your body at all times, but you can’t. Additionally, having a positive judgement of your body, still is judging it. So I propose a more neutral estimation instead: Body neutrality.

Try this:

Start by trying to change thoughts about your body away from negativity towards a more neutral tone. Thoughts and statements such as “I don’t like how my thighs rub together when I walk.” could be turned into “I notice my thighs rub together when I walk.” This is moving from a negative appraisal of the fact to just stating the fact.
Another example could be “When I sit, my belly doesn’t stay flat, because that is what most bodies do.”

Make time for body appreciation

Your body is an amazing part of you. It does so many things including helping you survive (duh!), allowing you to move around, express yourself and so much more. These are facts that are true whether you fit into your jeans or not.

Taking some time regularly to appreciate what your body does for you, can help you feel more positive about it.

Try this:

Every day (or every couple of days) stop and find one or several things about your body that you feel grateful about. You don’t have to come up with extraordinary or even unique things each time. Statements such as “My body allows me to spend time with my friends.” or “I appreciate how my body tells me when I need rest.” are great ways to foster body appreciation.

Improve your daily comfort

There is one way to help you feel more confident and most of all comfortable, and that is through the choice of clothing you put on. When we wear clothes that pinch or are too big for our bodies we are more likely to think about how we look. So instead of “punishing” yourself for having a body that changes, accept it. Wear clothes that make you feel confident and that make you feel good. Often we hang on to clothes that are more “aspirational” than comfortable. While we might think that this will motivate ourselves to work on our body goals, more often than not, it will leave us feeling unhappy with ourselves. No more.

Try this:

If you are unable (or unwilling) to spend a lot of money on new clothes, consider swapping clothes with friends or seek out second-hand and charity shops to update your wardrobe. Look for facebook groups and other places where you can cheaply, or freely acquire new items. There are more and more platforms where you can sell and buy second-hand clothes.

Help others feel good in their bodies too

One way that many of us are taught to talk about bodies often has the opposite effect on individuals: Giving compliments on other people’s bodies. A simple example could be “Have you lost weight?” can start a vicious cycle of disordered thoughts that can even become an eating disorder. 

What if rather than a conscious change in behaviours, it was an illness that caused them to lose weight without wanting to? Even if they intended to lose weight, complimenting them on their body now could lead to self-judgement later if they put on weight again at a later time. The best way to avoid this is to refrain from commenting on other bodies at all.

Try this:

Do you want to still compliment others, but need some ideas on how to do it now that you are avoiding body- and weight-related comments? Instead compliment them on their bodies, be more creative. Come up with compliments that focus on their personality or behaviour (where suited). 

• I’m always happy to spend time with you, because you are so funny/uplifting/thoughtful etc. 
• Wow, those shoes look great!
• I love how the colours of your sweater compliment your eyes.
• You are so good at listening/making me laugh/finding cosy coffee spots to hang out!

These types of compliments are much more likely to hit the mark and make the other person feel appreciated.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a negative body image, you are definitely not alone. It is a very common experience that can impact a persons’ life in a multitude of negative ways. This blog post is meant to offer some practical ideas on how this can be addressed. If you feel that you need some help with addressing this issue I highly suggest you seek out help. We can talk about the possibility of working together.

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Photo by Aiony Haust by Unsplash